• Cool Riders Header
    1990s,  Bakage,  Review,  The Quarterhole

    Review – Cool Riders

    If you don’t look too closely, it looks like a bunch of thrown-together digitized sprites trying hard to look cool. Like Pit Fighter; exactly like Pit Fighter. But upon closer inspection, you realize that it isn’t just some ill-advised, thrown-together racing game. It knows exactly what it is. I still do not know what chaotic ritual conjured this game, but…

  • Bonze Adventure Header
    1980s,  Review,  The Quarterhole

    Review – Bonze Adventure

    The best part of playing Bonze Adventure is probably learning what a bonze is. I'm not sure I'll ever use that knowledge, but at least it's there now. And knowledge is power. Unfortunately, Bonze Adventure is has some great character design within, but not much else going for it.

  • Pu-Li-Ru-La Header
    1990s,  Bakage,  Review,  The Quarterhole

    Review – Pu-Li-Ru-La

    The beat-'em-up series is a varied as you can get when it comes to putting fists into faces and faces into concrete, but Pu-Li-Ru-La stands apart in its cartoon art-style. It's just too bad that it can't live up to the intense, wall-to-wall weirdness of its third stage.

  • Alien vs. Predator arcade header
    1990s,  The Quarterhole

    Review – Alien vs. Predator (Arcade)

    If you were tickling me mercilessly and would only stop if I named what developer made the best beat-’em-ups, I’d say Capcom. Without coercion and with some time to think about it, I might come up with a more interesting answer, but it’s more likely that I’d still just say Capcom. I grew up in rural Ontario, which is a…

  • Elevator Action Returns Header
    1990s,  The Quarterhole

    Review – Elevator Action Returns

    How is Elevator Action Returns not talked about more? Don’t get me wrong, it’s not the absolute most obscure arcade game that I’ve covered. It even recently got an enhanced port (of the Sega Saturn version) called Elevator Action Returns S-Tribute, but it’s so much better than its niche suggests. I already love Elevator Action, the 1983 game that is…

  • Zunzunkyou no Yabo title screen header
    1990s,  Bakage,  The Quarterhole

    Review – Zunzunkyou no Yabou

    When it comes to arcade games, actually being enjoyable to play isn’t always the most important aspect. To succeed in the arcade – and really, this is still true in what passes for an arcade these days – you needed to be attention-grabbing. Look at the original Mortal Kombat, for instance. It was absolutely shit to play, but the mix…

  • Final Fight Header
    1990s,  The Quarterhole

    Review – Final Fight

    I tend to paradoxically refer to my memory as both a steel trap and completely unreliable. I actually have no idea how my recollection compares to other people; how can anyone? However, let me give you an example of the former claim. Somewhere in the foggy depths of my youth, I remember the first time I played Final Fight. It…