I reviewed Cruis’n USA some years ago, and after playing through Cruis’n World again, I think I was too harsh on it. Was it actually good? Oh goodness, no. However, some of its rather wrongheaded choices contributed to a vision and personality that you won’t find in Cruis’n World. If you take out some of the awful jank that I complained about, you lose part of its identity, as we see with Cruis’n World.

So, now that I’ve given away my opinion, let’s back up a bit. Cruis’n USA was a game that tricked a lot of people into thinking it was good by being marketed and released around when the N64 first launched. It was a content bereft time, so a lot of people bought it, and many more at least played it. It’s a racing game that was antiquated at the time, and now I can only enjoy it because it reeks of the N64’s overly-optimistic early days.

Cruis’n World came out in arcades the same year (1996) as the N64 port of Cruis’n USA. Therefore, its own port hit the N64 the year after in 1997. It promised to take the concept Cruis’n USA and stretch it across a global scale, so rather than jumping state lines, you’re somehow crossing oceans. Otherwise, it’s kind of the same but a lot blander.

CRUIS’N THE WOOOOOORLD YEAH YEAH

While blander, Cruis’n World has a lot more going for it. The car control still sucks out loud, but it’s a little less awkward and rigid. The tracks are still about as dynamic as raster racer tracks; forward is your only direction, but some tracks now fork, and there’s a lot more variety. You can also do stunts whenever you come to a (usually obvious) jump. A lot of the time, this will result in you careening off the track and into the scenery, but they do have a function that we’ll get to.

Alongside a number of straight-shot tracks from around the world (and an option to play through them in one journey like in Cruis’n USA), there’s also a Championship Mode where you race on circular tracks. Almost like a real racing game. Ayo!

The screwed-up part of Championship is that it’s where you unlock a lot of stuff. Most importantly, the ability to power-up your car. It’s the dumbest thing. When you start off on easy championship, you can hardly catch up and overtake the race frontrunners. Before you even stand a chance in the medium level of championship mode, you need to get enough bonus points to unlock the first car upgrade.

How many points? Just 8 for the first upgrade. How many do you get for winning a race? Just 3 on the novice tracks. You can also get points for doing stunts (told you we would get to this), but some tracks offer very little opportunity for this. You can do stunts off the backs of cars, but whether or not your car performs them seems very inconsistent. I couldn’t figure out a way to do it every time.

AN EXPENSIVE TUNE-UP

This means that you’re always just getting a trickle of bonus points. As I implied, getting to the first upgrade isn’t that difficult. You can do it on the first track. However, it scales up from there. Power level 3 is at 100 points. 4 is reached at 500. 5 at 1500. To get fully powered up, you need a whopping 9999 points. I’m going to hope that the last power level is just, like, a bonus for diligent people.

I never found a way to get points quicker. As far as I know, the ways I listed are the fastest. At best, I could get maybe 15 points on certain tracks. So, I’d have to do that 100 times to get to level 5, which sounds like Hell.

Okay, so you don’t need to get to level 5 to beat championship mode on the default difficulty (which I found out is Pro). However, there are unlockable cars, and to get them, you need to finish championship tracks in practice mode and beat a certain time. The time is usually extremely low, and the only way to beat them (as far as I know) is to have a high power level.

So, if you want to unlock all the cars, you need to play championship mode repeatedly. Otherwise, I suppose you can grind the first easy track, which provides decent opportunity for stunts. But that still means playing a lot of Cruis’n World before they’ll let you play with one of the unlockable cars. At that point, is it even worth it? Just another way to play a game you’ve already played repeatedly?

FIRE THE KREMLIN DOMES

I suppose this makes more sense in the context of the era. We’re spoiled for choice in today’s industry. Back when I got Cruis’n World as a kid, I couldn’t have had more than 15 games on the N64. There was very little competition for my attention, whereas now I have thousands of titles that I can move onto as soon as I’m tired of the one I’m on. So having a lot of secrets that take a lot of time to complete was always a benefit for someone who might be stuck playing the same cartridge repeatedly.

But that isn’t even the biggest disappointment. It’s what I already mentioned; there’s less personality here than in the original. It still kicks off the race with a woman in a bikini and stiletto heels waving a flag and finishes with a different bikini woman thrusting a trophy at you. The music is similar in a way that it borders on listenable.

There’s just less feeling of excitement. In 1994, Cruis’n USA, for as ugly as it is, was a powerful game. It feels larger than life. Look at Sega Rally Championship, which came out in 1995. Sega Rally has aged a lot better, but from a technical standpoint, Cruis’n USA, with its Silicon Graphics-powered visuals, is a lot more impressive.

As a result, it exudes this undeserved confidence. It thought it was the coolest game on the block, or was at least pushed that way outwardly. It didn’t matter that the tracks were short and all ran in one direction or that the scenery was made of cardboard, it strut it stuff with confidence.

WHERE’S ALL THE GUMPTION?

Cruis’n World doesn’t have that. It feels like a sequel. The cool stuff was already done, so here’s more of it. It doesn’t have the guts to just slap the Chicago skyline on the top of a tunnel and pretend that it’s enough to give you a sense of place. In fact, it won’t rub your face all over the landmarks you pass. You go by the Sphinx so fast in the Egypt stage you might even miss it. C’mon, guy, where’s the spirit?

Otherwise, Cruis’n World is a clear improvement but still feels incredibly weak against other racing games on the console and elsewhere. Top Gear Rally was out that same year and feels leagues ahead of this. By the end of the year, Gran Turismo would hit the PS1 (if you’re into more realistic racing games). The Ridge Racer series was already running laps around it. Meanwhile, it loses its distinctive tacky confidence. What are we even doing here?

4/10

This review was conducted on an N64 using a cartridge copy of the game. It was probably bought for the auther by her parents decades ago.